Cock-a-doodle-doo
by Lindt Luirae
Summary: Amidst the thick wooden beams of the Hokage's office a battle as old as time begins... In the end will the rooster crow or does the cat get the cream?
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you Luna and Mer for helping come up with this! Also, thank you Frankie for coming up with the title x**

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Today, dear readers, Genma and Sakura have a case to settle —a reputation to uphold. Neither will back down and so a certain silver haired sixth Hokage has been requested to settle their dispute.

"Shizune!" Sakura barks as she marches into the Hokage office, taking slight pleasure in the way the guards flinch. The woman in question looks up from arranging the paperwork on the table, surprised.

"Sakura? What's wrong?" Shizune wonders concern evident in her feature, especially when an equally outraged Genma marches into the office.

"Where is Kakashi?" Genma demands.

"Uh… Hokage-sama doesn't show up until nine." Shizune informs, now alarmed as two pairs of eyes narrow at her. "B-but I can call for him…?"

"Hurry and do." Genma orders and turns his glare onto Sakura. "I'll have you know he prefers cocks."

Sakura snorts rudely, "puh-lease! Those good-for-nothing hard-headed pieces of flesh! Kakashi prefers pussies."

Tenzou, who suddenly emerges from the private Hokage bathroom, freezes, his jaw dropping, having caught the tail end of the ninjas' conversation.

"Who wants to ride a pussy!" Genma shouts, scandalised, although that doesn't hold a candle to what Tenzou feels that second. "Cocks all the way princess."

Kakashi suddenly bursts through the room, alongside Gai.

"How did you get here so fast?" Sakura demands, in no mood for pleasantries or respect.

"I rode on Genma's cock." Kakashi answers, slightly breathless, "I must say though it's quite rough. My ass is bruised."

"We all rode on the fastest cock Genma had to come here in time," Gai informs.

"H-hokage-sama!" Tenzou screams, scandalised.

"Oh yeah, it can be pretty hard on the butt. But it rides better than Sakura's pussy." Genma says, matter-of-factly.

"Hey, don't you dare talk about my pussy! Your cock is nowhere as good!"

"Yea but my cock is bigger than your pussy."

"My pussy is stronger."

"Hokage-sama rode _my_ cock. Because it's efficient."

"Efficient," Tenzou squeaks, "cock?"

Sakura turns a fiery glare in Tenzou's way, making him gulp. Gai chimes in, "But Sakura's pussy's got one hell of a grip if you ask me."

Genma relents, "True. Nearly broke my cock."

"A broken cock is a terrible thing." Gai nods sagely as he crosses his arms. "Beware so you don't acquire the puss's wrath."

"Hokage-sama, which is better? Cock or Pussy?" Genma asks the so-far silent man, fed up.

"It's Pussy, right? I mean, pussies are so much more attractive!" Sakura exasperates.

"Speak for yourself! You can't tell me I don't have a good looking cock. It's a stunning cock, far superior to your scraggly pussy."

"Scraggly!?"

Kakashi decides to step in before their argument devolves into a fist fight, "Now, now, let's not get carried away...maybe I should see them? Judge properly?"

"You want to...SEE them? Have you gone mad?" Tenzou cries, eyes wide.

"It's just Cock and Pussy Tenzou, don't be so squeamish." Kakashi chides, "You show people your wood all the time."

"m-m-my wood?" Tenzou stammers, bewildered, but he isn't heard over Sakura's loud command.

"Fine. Let's show him!"

"NO! Shiranui! Haruno! We're in the middle of the Hokage office!" Shizune cries in alarm.

"Oh, you got a point. Come on Genma. You and me. Alone at the training ground, now!" Sakura jabs a challanging finger at Genma's chest.

He scowls. "My cock will give it to ya!"

"My pussy will make you regret coming!"

"My cock will destroy you!"

What enthusiastic ninja his village has! Kakashi marvels and claps his hands together to settle them down. "Let's go. First to finish loses!"

 _…to be continued._


	2. Chapter 2

Dear readers, we apologise for the delay but dragging Tenzou to the training grounds is a feat like no other! You see, he just wants to get out of here. In fact, poor Tenzou was trying to resist tears.

Today, he must do the inevitable. Today, he must decide: which is better, cock or pussy?

"I'm telling you my pu—" The rosette yelled only to be cut off.

"No, let the one with cock talk here! I'm telling you that cocks are stronger— and faster, come Tenzou, you could ride with me!" Genma calls to the nearly hyperventilating man.

Seeing such enthusiasms from his faithful ninja, Kakashi good-naturedly joins their debate, as is expected of every good kage, "Ooh, can I join too? I feel there is a considerable lack of Dogging going on here, don't you think?"

"SENPAI!"

"What!?" Kakashi laughs.

Sakura snorts knowingly, "Hokage-sama only likes riding it doggy style, we know, we know."

"You know you like it Ruff." Winks Kakashi.

"Come and prove it!" Sakura sing-songs.

"I…" Tenzou is really at a loss of words, a victim of his indecent imagination.

"I think you should join." Genma tells him before announcing, "Earlier this morning I stumbled upon Tenzou's morning wood. My cock was impressed!"

Tenzou takes a step back, way beyond scandalised that he's unable to form words and is only saved by the timely appearance of the delivery man that appeared out of nowhere. "Uh, I have 13 tones of product for... Genmas massive Cock?"

Kakashi gives a long-suffering sigh, as Tenzou seems to have gone into shock, "I'll sign. We've got high maintenance cock in Konoha."

The delivery man shrugs acquiescence and leaves quickly afterwards.

Now to the moment of truth… What will Kakashi choose? The pussy for the sake of being able to caress the pussy or the cock for the sake of riding that big and fast cock Genma apparently has?

We will only know right after the break as Tenzou seems to have passed out… _oops…_

...

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But _not_ after the break, because we're totally not biased on this network! Sorry, Tenzou.

Hours later, Kakashi, left winded and gasping for breath from the force of Genma's cock and Sakura's pussy, had yet to come to a solid conclusion as to which was superior in skill.

Tenzou had finally regained consciousness and is now staring dazedly into space wondering if he still possesses any shred of innocence all while Kakashi pondered his answer.

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to think on this and ask you to return tomorrow." Kakashi panted and turned to his Kouhai, "Tenzou? My legs are...would you mind helping me back to the office?"

Tenzou is done, my friends. He is no longer capable of the mental powers of resisting this conversation and it's hidden dirty meanings and so he replies, "Sure. I'll transport you there with my wood. Just a few secs, senpai, I have to get it up first."

Kakashi snorts at the hidden meaning.

"What? You've been discussing genital innuendo for hours!"

 _Killer silence._

Kakashi smacks him upside the head, "Filthy boy! We were talking about summons!"

* * *

 **Credits:**

 _Beep... beep... beep..._ Tenzou waits patiently for the line to pick up.

"Yes?" A chillingly cold voice drawls on the other side of the line.

"Hi… Orochimaru?"

"Yes. This'd be him."

"I would like to make an appointment for a brainwash. How's Saturday?"

... ... ...

"Where'd that Cock-sure attitude go Genma? Pussy whipped by Sakura already?" Anko snorts rudely in the background.

"Shut up!"

"What youthful ninja!"

"Go away, Gai. There is no finer Cock than mine!"

It seems our case will remain unresolved for now, but one thing's for sure, there's nothing more youthful than a fine morning with the heated cries of joint pussies and cocks at it.


End file.
